What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Alive.
So much puke
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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