You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
