I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize