I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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