You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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