What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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