"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize