dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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