I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so that wasnt chicken after all
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
