drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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