My brain says no but my pants say off.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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