i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
