I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
