Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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