I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Are we still banned from the library?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
