when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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