i just had sex bonerless
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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