He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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