So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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