Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
