thus making me awesome and them whores
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
