oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
