when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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