I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
