We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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