I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize