White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
