also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
