We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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