When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
