I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
