my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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