I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
