The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize