When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
