How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
