I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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