she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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