I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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