I'm really into asian looking animals
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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