the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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