I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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