he told me I talked like a deaf person
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
