hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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