Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
