Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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