He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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