Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize