I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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