So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
