When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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