Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
