Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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