two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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