Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
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you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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