Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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