So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't notice because vodka
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
