i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
