never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
