I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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