did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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