Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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